One Year On

It was a year ago today that we arrived in Australia with our six suitcases, three carry-ons, a car seat, and a stroller. Despite everything that has happened since, I can't say that I feel like this is "home" yet. Partly this is because we still own our old home in Atlanta, as no one has yet made a serious offer on it for nearly 17 months (we've now lowered the asking price to below what we paid for it). But the main reason is that it's going to take more time than I thought to develop real friendships--a "social support network," as they say in my field--to replace what we lost by changing continents. Sure, we still have contact with many of our friends and family members back in the States, but the effect of the great physical separation that now exists is tremendous. I think if we had moved to San Francisco instead, for example, it would have been much easier because we would be only a couple of time zones and a $400 flight away. Now, we face $6000-9000 plane tickets for the three of us to go back, in addition to lots of logistics when it comes to planning a time to make phone calls.

The effect of not having of a fully developed social support network was quite acute this week when V. was knocked down with severe back pain. On Wednesday night she suddenly woke up screaming because she was unable to move. The next day her physician arranged to have a CT scan of her lower spine made, and it turned out that she had 2-3 herniated discs! It appears that V. has been living with back pain on and off for many years, but never really dealt with it. This probably got worse recently due to our long plane flights and her having to lift heavy luggage and Will during our travels. The doctor immediately ordered V. to go on bed rest for a week, prescribing a strong painkiller and another drug to reduce the inflammation. Since Thursday I have been taking care of Will during all his waking minutes, and this will continue until the end of the coming week, except when he is at daycare. I will need to do all the shopping, cleaning, and cooking while trying to catch up with my work. More importantly, I have had to cancel my July 9 trip to the States, which included visiting my parents in Arkansas and Oklahoma, because it is unclear when V. will be functioning again. She can't even pick up Will from his crib at this point, so leaving them on their own for 10 days is impossible. I have far too much to do at work, so all of this couldn't come at a more inconvenient time. Alas. I suppose health problems never come at convenient times, do they?

As some of you know, V. was on bed rest for nearly 4 months when she was pregnant with Will, so being bed rest veterans, I know we'll be OK. A big difference this time, however, is that we don't have all our friends around to help out like we did back in Atlanta. If you are ever contemplating moving to another part of the world, don't underestimate the presence of your friends in your decision. Some people can do quite well on their own, as we have, for the most part, but I can assure you that making lots of new "old friends" requires much more than a year when you move to a new country.

Old Friends

That's me in the center of this photo, taken at the Wollundry Lagoon, Wagga Wagga, NSW, Australia in August 1975. I don't really remember the names of my friends here, but I think one of them (the one on the left) is Paul Arbuckle. My family lived in Wagga for three months while my dad was hiring people for a new branch of his company. I went to school, played rugby and aussie rules football, kissed my first girlfriend (Marie Manning, which apparently I have no photos of!), and made a lot of friends. When we came back to the States, I kept up the correspondences for about a year, and then all those friendships faded away. The whole experience was my special Aussie edition of "The Wonder Years."

Missing the Dogwoods

Spring in Atlanta this year has been strange. We had about 10 days starting in late March when the temps got to about 80 F and the pollen counts hit near record levels. All the beautiful blooming trees, plants, and bushes started to come out in their full glory. Then, all of a sudden, we went back down into the 20s for a couple of nights, and nearly all the blossoms disappeared. In the week since, we continued to have very cool weather, which culminated in a miserable Sunday yesterday. We had planned to go to the annual Dogwood festival, which takes place in Midtown Atlanta. I have been to it nearly every year since about '98 (I moved to ATL in '97), so I was especially looking forward to having a final glorious day watching the frisbee dogs and wandering among the crafts booths. This time we would be able to let our son roam around on the grass in the sunshine as well. Alas, the temps didn't exceed 41 degrees (5 degrees C), and the wind was blowing at gusts of 30 mph. So, instead we drove to an outlet mall where we had to walk around in our winter coats. My guess is that the dogwoods had stopped blooming before this year's festival had even started.

The picture I have posted here was taken at last year's Dogwood Festival, when we met up with our very good friends Larry and Lisa, and their three kids, Alana, Hannah, and Alec. They have since moved to the DC area and we miss them a lot, but I'm glad that what has turned out to be our very last DF was shared with them.