Rude Morning Jokes

V. and I share a guilty pleasure. We enjoy watching "Sunrise," the morning show on 7, hosted by "Mel" (Melissa Doyle) and "Kochie" (David Koch). It comes on right after a broadcast of the previous day's "Today" program from the U.S, which provides a fascinating cultural contrast. Whereas "Today" is characterised by fast-paced segments of interviews, cooking demonstrations, and short bits of banter between the hosts, "Sunrise" covers only about a quarter of that material in the same amount of time because the interviews tend to be twice as long and the banter even longer. One feature of the show at around 6:45 am each day is Kochie's Joke of the Day. Here is where there's a very clear difference between the sensibilities of Australia and the United States. Simply put, most of these jokes would spark major protests if they were told on the "Today" show. For example, an entire week of Joke of the Day was devoted to dumb blond jokes. Many other jokes are just downright 'dirty.' Here's one that was told this week. WARNING: if you are easily offended by dim-witted humor, you may not want to read further!

One day the Lone Ranger was finally captured by some Indians and was told that he would be executed in two days for previous crimes against their tribe. The Lone Ranger asked if he could see his horse, Silver, one last time, so the Indians brought Silver to his tent. The Lone Ranger whispered something into Silver's ear, and Silver trotted away. A little while later, Silver returned to the tent with a beautiful blond on his back. The blond entered the Lone Ranger's tent and spent the night with him.

The next evening, the Indians reminded the Lone Ranger that he would be executed the following day. The Lone Ranger once again asked to see his horse. And, once again, he whispered something into Silver's ear and the horse trotted off. This time, however, Silver came back carrying a beautiful brunette on his back. The brunette entered the tent and spent the night with the Lone Ranger.

The next morning, as the Indians prepared to take him off to his execution, the Lone Ranger furiously yelled at Silver to come over to him. As Silver approached, the Lone Ranger shouted:

"You stupid horse! I told you, 'Get posse! Get posse!'"